Its fourth week after honours started, non of the things are getting right!
The research is still on its developmental stage, idea after idea, its just not working after all..how am I going to answer any question such as ' Is micro-textured surfaces affect microbial attachment and biofilm formation?'
The plan was looking into the microbial community that could attach to the surfaces, but I dun even know whether they are able to attach to the surface or not. Sounds acceptable? well Supervisors been away for a conference..hope things will be better when I discuss the issue with them..but right now, at least I am grabbing the mood to go back to lab. Stay in the lab for 15-16hours on friday, which is 'longest' period since I started honours...
Getting the mood to do something is reli important, most crucial thing to get something done! Anyway, cant wait to talk to my supervisor about my current situation and hope to get some clue where I should head to..
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
How I feel VS What I want?
Is there anyone who could tell me that they understand how I feel recently or what I want?
This is a really tricky question for myself too...I feel unsatisfy with my research, things getting into shape day after day, but still its not something worth happy for..cz its not solution after all..I feel lonely when I am alone, I feel depressed when I think of my research, I feel relief when I look at the sky, no matter its during the day time with clear blue sky or night sky..What else I could feel? Why I feel this way..the reason is easy, I wish I could share with someone..or anyone just because I couldn't find this 'someone' at the moment..sounds pathetic?
What I want? I wana go home, I wana do research, I wana eat alot of stuff..BUT there is always but..my careers is here in aus and not in Malaysia, I don't wana keep failing in research, I dun wana keep gaining weight..why I can't just do what I want without any thought of worrying..Why am hesitating of doing something that I like?
My medical examination shows I have low blood pressure on that day..I wont know whether I have it always but I do not have any symptom of developing that..someone told me I could have anemia..could feel dizzy easily...Somehow it reminds of my brother, a long lost brother who had anemia when he was 8years old..Am I sad in another mean?
Why am I saying all this, why am I talking nonsense..just because I don't understand myself good enough..Could anyone...lend me a hand to answer my question?
This is a really tricky question for myself too...I feel unsatisfy with my research, things getting into shape day after day, but still its not something worth happy for..cz its not solution after all..I feel lonely when I am alone, I feel depressed when I think of my research, I feel relief when I look at the sky, no matter its during the day time with clear blue sky or night sky..What else I could feel? Why I feel this way..the reason is easy, I wish I could share with someone..or anyone just because I couldn't find this 'someone' at the moment..sounds pathetic?
What I want? I wana go home, I wana do research, I wana eat alot of stuff..BUT there is always but..my careers is here in aus and not in Malaysia, I don't wana keep failing in research, I dun wana keep gaining weight..why I can't just do what I want without any thought of worrying..Why am hesitating of doing something that I like?
My medical examination shows I have low blood pressure on that day..I wont know whether I have it always but I do not have any symptom of developing that..someone told me I could have anemia..could feel dizzy easily...Somehow it reminds of my brother, a long lost brother who had anemia when he was 8years old..Am I sad in another mean?
Why am I saying all this, why am I talking nonsense..just because I don't understand myself good enough..Could anyone...lend me a hand to answer my question?
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
The loneliness and Homesickness
Having to leave home to study abroad might be a good start for a successful career, however, it could also leading into another end of the world for you in the other point of view.
Study and learning is a process to enrich and enhance one's skills and knowledge. You get to learn something that those staying back in the homeland will never get into touch with. You get to receive an exceptional experience. You will get to see something different. You will get to know someone you would never encounter in your lifetime if you stay home.
Leave home alone having to face the world by oneself is cruel for some people. Its something loneliness would fill most of the time, no matter how busy you are, you will get to the feeling of loneliness..Why would I felt so..Let me tell you some statistic, I have only seen my Grandma for 5days in 2008 up to date, its only 5 days!! well, it could be unforgetable but I would say its pathetic. I could only meet my mom and dad for 28 days in 2008. The rest will be having seeing them on my monitor through msn video chat. How cruel is that and how could that be. I am more of a person to be with family. it could also because I have no girlfriend in particular, causing me having too much time to think over and over again..
Looking at the sky is purely the best moment that I could have in Sydney..having a deep blue sky, seeing more colourful sky during evening is even a kind of enjoyment for me.
Volleyball doesn't bring me much of fun anymore, I do not join any competition, not being competitive is not much of a fun in playing sport for me. Just lack of the confidence, intention to play good volleyball anymore. Its somehow a kind of routine to play it just for health! Talk about health, I have just gone through a medical examination for the purpose of extending my student visa, some problem is I have LOW BLOOD Pressure..anyone know what could that cause me in terms of health problem? I am too lazy to google it at the moment..
Walking all the way up to Randwick from Uni when I got home just now..my thought of the day was - Will I be addicted to Coffee? I found it smells nice when I walk across a cafe, the aroma..
Study and learning is a process to enrich and enhance one's skills and knowledge. You get to learn something that those staying back in the homeland will never get into touch with. You get to receive an exceptional experience. You will get to see something different. You will get to know someone you would never encounter in your lifetime if you stay home.
Leave home alone having to face the world by oneself is cruel for some people. Its something loneliness would fill most of the time, no matter how busy you are, you will get to the feeling of loneliness..Why would I felt so..Let me tell you some statistic, I have only seen my Grandma for 5days in 2008 up to date, its only 5 days!! well, it could be unforgetable but I would say its pathetic. I could only meet my mom and dad for 28 days in 2008. The rest will be having seeing them on my monitor through msn video chat. How cruel is that and how could that be. I am more of a person to be with family. it could also because I have no girlfriend in particular, causing me having too much time to think over and over again..
Looking at the sky is purely the best moment that I could have in Sydney..having a deep blue sky, seeing more colourful sky during evening is even a kind of enjoyment for me.
Volleyball doesn't bring me much of fun anymore, I do not join any competition, not being competitive is not much of a fun in playing sport for me. Just lack of the confidence, intention to play good volleyball anymore. Its somehow a kind of routine to play it just for health! Talk about health, I have just gone through a medical examination for the purpose of extending my student visa, some problem is I have LOW BLOOD Pressure..anyone know what could that cause me in terms of health problem? I am too lazy to google it at the moment..
Walking all the way up to Randwick from Uni when I got home just now..my thought of the day was - Will I be addicted to Coffee? I found it smells nice when I walk across a cafe, the aroma..
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Philip Island - Penguin Parade (Day 4)
Waking up in the aroma of 'Pork Porridge with slices of Ginger', prepared by Shih Chin right before she went for work. Its a complete win and 100% breakfast! Had bowls after bowls of porridge while waiting for ZHi Yin and CHan Kit to wake up.
Today's schedule isnt that packed at all, penguin parade will only start at 1.30pm meeting point in CBD. Out of the house right before 12pm thanks to Zhi Yin. haha...ALright I am not gona keep complaining about Zhi Yin but she did reli woke up the last wor..and spent ages in the bathroom...Anyway..have to rush to CHinatown Provinct to get the plastic container of Zhi Yin which I left it in the German restaurant night before. Find it pretty easy to find in Melbourne CBD. Anyway this trip I have used the most of the time looking at maps..
Reached meeting point just on time..and get going in a huge bus taking up to 40 ppl..=='' Drive for almost an hour having a fantastic tour guide + driver + commentator..the beautiful voice causing Zhi Yin to fall asleep within a minute..Geng Mou?? First stop is a wild life farm, well its not reli fascinating yet beautiful view because its raining when we just got down from the Bus... pity us! Second stop is a Koala Conservation farm, with limited koala..4 in total if i am not mistaken..and there is like have to walk to a few miles just to spot them..omg..Nearly losing my patience too...
Now drive all the way to Philip Island, went pass Grandprix venue on the way, and get to the Penguin Parade Centre. Have a pretty cute picture of a Warning Sign of 'BEWARE of PENGUIN when U leave, cause some of the time the llittle penguin could get to the carpark area and just be much more care not to run over them'. Walking into the centre with heaps and heaps of souvenirs, but first and most important thing is to grab a good place to watch those little penguin from the beach. Waiting and waiting patiently for about 30min, first group of little penguins coming up from the water, BUT unfortunately its in the other far end of the watching tower..so its a bit of disappointment. Keep waiting for another 30min and there you go, PENGUINS!!!
Having look at those little penguins walking up the beach to go back to their nest..ALL of A SUDDEN, it rains heavily..forcing us to go under the cover, THE scene is more like we are the PENGUINs who walk slowly to look for cover since it is so much crowded...poor us, soaked in the rain and Wind = Shake! Not penguins, its US! Well, its not a bad idea of walking up the hill now back into the centre because there is plenty of penguins along the way, Just separated with those penguins in 5cm wired pathway...so its reli reli reli close to them.. CUTE!
Finished with penguins..another 2hrs drive to go back to Melbourne CBD. reached home around 10+, hmm...its time to PLan for tmr's itinerary!! Chapel St, Casino....
Today's schedule isnt that packed at all, penguin parade will only start at 1.30pm meeting point in CBD. Out of the house right before 12pm thanks to Zhi Yin. haha...ALright I am not gona keep complaining about Zhi Yin but she did reli woke up the last wor..and spent ages in the bathroom...Anyway..have to rush to CHinatown Provinct to get the plastic container of Zhi Yin which I left it in the German restaurant night before. Find it pretty easy to find in Melbourne CBD. Anyway this trip I have used the most of the time looking at maps..
Reached meeting point just on time..and get going in a huge bus taking up to 40 ppl..=='' Drive for almost an hour having a fantastic tour guide + driver + commentator..the beautiful voice causing Zhi Yin to fall asleep within a minute..Geng Mou?? First stop is a wild life farm, well its not reli fascinating yet beautiful view because its raining when we just got down from the Bus... pity us! Second stop is a Koala Conservation farm, with limited koala..4 in total if i am not mistaken..and there is like have to walk to a few miles just to spot them..omg..Nearly losing my patience too...
Now drive all the way to Philip Island, went pass Grandprix venue on the way, and get to the Penguin Parade Centre. Have a pretty cute picture of a Warning Sign of 'BEWARE of PENGUIN when U leave, cause some of the time the llittle penguin could get to the carpark area and just be much more care not to run over them'. Walking into the centre with heaps and heaps of souvenirs, but first and most important thing is to grab a good place to watch those little penguin from the beach. Waiting and waiting patiently for about 30min, first group of little penguins coming up from the water, BUT unfortunately its in the other far end of the watching tower..so its a bit of disappointment. Keep waiting for another 30min and there you go, PENGUINS!!!
Having look at those little penguins walking up the beach to go back to their nest..ALL of A SUDDEN, it rains heavily..forcing us to go under the cover, THE scene is more like we are the PENGUINs who walk slowly to look for cover since it is so much crowded...poor us, soaked in the rain and Wind = Shake! Not penguins, its US! Well, its not a bad idea of walking up the hill now back into the centre because there is plenty of penguins along the way, Just separated with those penguins in 5cm wired pathway...so its reli reli reli close to them.. CUTE!
Finished with penguins..another 2hrs drive to go back to Melbourne CBD. reached home around 10+, hmm...its time to PLan for tmr's itinerary!! Chapel St, Casino....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
